A Letter from Scott, Outside of Time

Time is not an issue it just is a construct it’s not important
Most important realize that the space between us is an illusion

Scott, April 1996 Channeled Writing

chains-unbound-art

Though I have a clear story to tell, it defies the imposition of strict chronological order. In matters of the spirit, as in the dream world, events unfold as they will and defy governance by the ticking of a clock or the flipping of a calendar. In one sense my experience has unfolded within the current of time’s river, but in another my perceptions of past, present, and future, once so neatly defined, have become jumbled in the presence of spiritual revelation. Perhaps this mirrors our eternal experience. Imagine, for a moment, the possibility that the life in which we presently find ourselves is neither our first nor our last time around. If that is the case, can such neat lines of time be drawn on a constantly moving target? How could any such measure that we might impose be sufficient?

It’s Sunday evening, April 7, 1996, and I am about to experience a miracle of pure communication far beyond anything I might have anticipated. With the stage set by a combination of my openness and Scott’s eagerness, I am about to receive a fresh love letter from him, the first of many channeled communications from the realm of spirit. Any skepticism on your part is to be easily forgiven (remember, even some of my close friends felt that this is where was ready for boarding in a nice, padded cell!), but all I would request is an open and fair consideration of the message and its substance. Though my fingers typed the words, I have no doubt that the message is his, reflecting his personality, present perspective, and creative intelligence. I just know.

I have just returned home from a weekend road trip to Orlando, Florida, my first travel anywhere since Scott’s passing. As usual I have keenly felt his presence, as well as his absence, on my journey. Though I am not at all aware of the day, it’s Easter Sunday. I am on the phone with Daviea, laying in my bed enjoying a casual conversation, when I suddenly start to feel an incomprehensible energy pulsing through my body. I have come to feel Scott’s presence as a tingle across the front of my body, relatively mild, but this feels like I have begun vibrating with a frequency sufficiently powerful to almost lift me up off the bed. I feel like my head is falling backwards.

Recognizing that I have no choice but to follow this powerful current, I try and communicate to Daviea that something extraordinary is happening. My voice sounds to me as if coming from a distance. “Jeez, Daviea,” I say, “something’s really going on here. I feel like I’m getting ready to leave my body. Somebody is definitely paying me a visit. I better go.” Without missing a beat she says “go for it,” and I hang up the phone and upon instinct walk directly to my computer. I light the white candle on the desk, rest my clumsy fingers on the keyboard, and virtually vibrate with the force of his presence.

Then I say simply “Honey, tell me what it is you want me to know.” The following words flow out, without conscious effort or the craft of writing. Here, I believe with all my heart, are words of love from the other side. Although in the original the words flow together without either spacing or punctuation, the message is sufficiently rich and dense to benefit from a little white space.

I just want to touch you so bad
I want you to know that I’m very very all right in fact I’ve never been happier
It’s a little hard to describe but everything is different but I am so much the same and I’m so very much with you and I always will be baby. No worries about that, please you’ve got enough on your plate.
I’m here with you can’t you feel me? Yes you can. Tell Bruce [his brother] again that I love him never stop doing that
I’m so proud of the bridges you are building with my parents I know they can be tough but stick with it baby you’re doing great.

I want you to live and keep on living because now especially I feel and see through the we.
Time is not an issue it just is a construct it’s not important
Most important realize that the space between us is an illusion.
Paul baby you know I love you so much don’t make this any harder on yourself than it has to be. If the tables were turned you know I wouldn’t have been able to do as well as you’re doing.

I know how you felt at the carwash yesterday [a swirling nausea of grief and meaninglessness] it’s OK its all part of the plan
The game is for you to be yourself give up the ideals and the trying to justify there’s no sense in trying all that because you don’t need to Yes it had its place in the plan at one time and it still might a little bit if you want it to but maybe it’s time to move on

That’s what I want you to do my love is move on because you need to know without a doubt that no matter which direction you move it will be closer to me
It’s just that our relationship has changed a little in its dynamics because of my departure from my body, but you know I will always be here for you, wherever you are. Alone is something you never need be, and that’s the great gift I have given to you.
I never got to thank you for seeing me through with such love, I knew you were there for me as always and I knew that your soul burned and still burns with a love that has made it much easier for me here on the other side.

Never doubt Baby your gifts of the spirit You’ve already got a rep over here and lots of friends and when your time comes you know I’ll be here with my arms wide open and a great big huge smile Again, you need to know that you saw me through and I promise that I will do the same for you.

You’ve been wondering the reason you’re healing so fast is because you’re letting some of my love in just as much as you can breathe right now but you know there are infinite reserves my beloved one.
You are healing because you loved and love and did so well and there’s nothing better that anyone on Earth can do. You made no wrong decisions Honey you never had a choice but to respond to your higher destiny

I will tell you and show you in as many ways as I need to that you are not alone that you are rich in the spirit you are not bankrupt to the contrary your cup runneth over (You gotta watch that a little!) and you are with me on the growth path even though my body ain’t there with you right about now.

We are together now remember that baby don’t get into the idea like the Christians of waiting for glory after you’re dead
Remember my love and claim that now is the time, now is the glory, now we are both where we need to be. Yes the world can be what it is and it can be shitty and mainly a little tawdry but it has a purpose where did you think I would be if not in a classroom?

Our whole experience together was dream reality was metaphor and yes I have left you with a very rich legacy at this point you don’t yet realize how deep
I’m sorry I had to go Honey I know it took both of us so much by surprise but it was the time
Just like now is the time for me to be with you and it’s hard to describe to you what time really is but just know that it isn’t at all what it seems to be and neither is matter but trust me all of these things have their place in the passion play and you will learn and come to realize what you need to know.

Yes I want you to come to Pittsburgh I am talking to you can’t you hear me yes in your inner ear you know I am there
Oh my love please stay open to me and above all move on with your life because even if you fear moving away from me that is quite impossible I promise for we have shared love and will do so again

Calm down baby I know you’re still scared and I understand, but peace is a good thing to strive for. I’ve been sending you messages and you’ve been listening. “The truth comes to the man whose eye is not clouded by longing.” [A quote I'd heard along the drive the previous day on a tape by teacher Ram Dass on the subject of "Death and Dying."]
Oh how you burn for me and that’s OK but trust me you’re now seeing through a glass darkly as once was said The eternal mystery is very much now and will be and you will grow and learn to trust in that.
Your position is secure my love be at peace you are so loved and you wouldn’t believe what it’s like over here Just enjoy where you are now try not to tune in to the perceived losses You are better not worse off for what we shared. Never forget that OK baby?

You don’t need to try you just need to open up and listen just a little Your pain is the flip side of your love and it must be and I understand that I am so proud of you what you are doing and the way you are doing it It means a lot to me that you keep my friendships ongoing they are gifts that I have left for you packages to keep on opening, gifts that will keep on giving. You are my baby be at peace.

Remember like I’ve told you that love is all that matters. Just remember that it will put every other question into perspective

I am so proud of you
I will be seeing you soon, loving you always. Sweet dreams

PS looking at my picture is OK even if it doesn’t contain me, because I am everywhere. I am not lost, and you can start letting that feeling go Images and the sound of my earthly voice are no longer important I have been seared and freed by white light and love and now know no boundaries or edges

I am working with you bit by bit to extend yours I am proud of how close you have come to me and you will have the power this is my gift to you
(line above)of knowing while you are in the waking dream that is life of what is really going on on the spiritual real level.

You have given me great gifts and I am forever grateful and my gifts are returning to you. You feel them already you are growing in our love this is a great gift you’re giving me, but you ain’t seen nothing yet and I guarantee you that’s a promise!

Hang in there baby! Your love of life is my legacy and the joy that we shared.

I love you don’t doubt that for a second

This is what Scott so burned with longing to get across to me on the evening of that first Easter Sunday following his death. Since that first breakthrough, communion with Scott in the written word has come so easily, so effortlessly, that I at first discounted its validity. Would not real contact have to be preceded by some form of discipline, focused meditation, or other evidences of virtue? Though Scott and I had both shared a defining passion for the love of words, and a union of his creative energy and mine would as logically happen in this way as any, it seemed too easy. An interesting exercise, I reasoned, probably therapeutic, but not a source of genuine spiritual truth.

I now feel differently. Viewed in the larger context of which they appeared, and judged against the knowledge that has since been revealed to me, I am now convinced that the channeled writings are genuine communication from the other side. Though their underlying message of dynamic love might perhaps be inherently limited by the necessity of communication through static words, they are the real thing. In my life, at least, they have so far stood the test of time, yielding new levels of spiritual truth as I have been ready and willing to receive it.

On that first occasion, I could not have even begun to fully understand the depth of the letter’s messages of desire, reassurance and encouragement, instruction, and challenge to heal. Questions I had not yet even asked were being heard and gently tended to, leading me forward. Even now I continue to find new and deeper meanings in each of the writings, offering explanation and steady guidance along my journey’s way. I have shared them as a gift with others deeply wounded through the loss of their loved ones, and witnessed their power to heal.

So much more than flat words on a page, these words from the other side are as a sweet bubbling stream, living and flowing, meeting the deepest needs of a heart parched with thirst. They are now and have always been a gift made in love. May they speak to you as they have to me.

To    Chapter 11

Published in: on October 5, 2008 at 6:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Always A Bridge To Connect The Gap – part 3 A Reunion Outside of Time

A Reunion Outside of Time

My love–

hold me hard and close

until I feel me within you

and the ecstasy

is too much to bear.

Scott, 1992

Poem (Untitled)

That first session with Dee was so laden, I believe, because Scott had been keenly aware of my predicament after his death and burned with a desire to reach me with a message of comfort and reassurance. Scott was always a creative and highly energetic soul, and had never failed at any important task to which he had set his mind. Through means unknown to me he had set into motion this opportunity for communication, helping to complete the broken circuit between us and nudging me from pain toward peace. Better still, the messages being forwarded to me spoke of a relationship that was still unfolding and not static, a verb rather than a noun.

And, coming from the realm of the spirit, the images Dee received that day were neither bounded by linearity nor time. At one point, she said “He’s always around you. You shouldn’t have any trouble [picking up on him]. Were you hearing something odd around 6 o’clock in the morning? I’m seeing that something happened around 6, 6 in the morning.” Nothing came to mind. I told Dee that I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, I’d been kind of restless, I wasn’t sure. “I don’t know,” she responded, thinking. “See, he’s showing me, he’s showing me that he was there with you and trying to get your attention and you were awake; you knew he’d been there with you. It might not have been this morning, but it was a morning.”

I had no idea what she was talking about, because the event she was describing had yet to transpire. Later in the session, Dee told me “He’s always close to you. You’re going to see him, Paul, and you’re going to talk to him. I know that.” She was absolutely right about that, as I learned two weeks later during a weekend trip to Washington, D.C. I had thought I would need wait for eternity to know again the sweet joy of communion with my beloved, but I was wrong.

Other than my brief road trip the weekend before, the trip to Washington represented my first shaky step out into the big world, leaving behind the comfortable sanctuary of my home. A close friend of mine who lived there had urged me to come visit, just for fun and a change of scene. That Friday night, April 12, we and two other friends, Phil and his wife Marianne, sat at an outside table in a busy downtown restaurant enjoying good food, wine, and company. Made comfortable by Marianne’s gentle openness, I shared with her my wonder at the miraculous events that I felt had been unfolding in my life since Scott’s death, and spoke of my strong sense that our relationship was somehow not yet complete. “I don’t know exactly what’s happening,” I told her, “but I think it’s something really important.”

Her response touched me deeply. “Maybe it’s not that important that you understand it all just now. Maybe you just need to experience it,” she said gently, looking into my eyes. “But think about it, why shouldn’t your relationship with Scott be different? After all, you are an enlightened soul, a very spiritual man, and so was Scott. And the two of you really shared something special together. Why should we put any limits on the situation? Why shouldn’t the bond between the two of you be extraordinary?” As I pondered her words, allowing them to sink in as I took another sip of white wine, she continued. “Listen, Paul, you are you, and Scott is Scott, and this is just the way it happens for you guys. Just open up and drink it in.” I felt aglow, warmed by the simple wisdom of her words. Sitting at that table with my friends, I knew that something miraculous was indeed unfolding.

I had no way of knowing, however, that Scott was going to visit me later that night.

We all know the difference between dreams and reality. That night, I experienced something different, more vivid and immediate than either. From within a deep sleep, I was astonished to see Scott suddenly standing just by the side of my bed, leaning over me. Though he spoke no words, his entire being radiated joy as his soul touched mine. Just as he had expressed playful happiness in life, his head craned forward, a huge grin on his face, eyes twinkling with delight His body was healthy and strong, almost shining, no longer disfigured by sickness.

In that sacred moment, I knew the pure ecstasy of reunion with my loved one. He reached out to me, and I back to him, in love. My heart quickened as the walls of separation, once so seemingly impenetrable, now came suddenly crashing down, shown to be illusion.. We were once again together, vibrating in unison. Then, in pure joy, breathless with excitement, I cried out to him, “Honey!” The force of my desire awakened me. Brimming over with wonder I sat up in bed, still feeling myself vibrating with the energy of Scott’s presence full upon me. Though the still darkness of night quietly surrounded me, I could feel only light. I laughed out loud with the joy of it.

In that moment, I recognized that another doorway had been opened between us. Later, I found the following words among Scott’s poetry:

Still love

always love

I lay

and look

at you sleeping

and cry to be so full of love

to get close and smell you

and breathe you in

to fill me full of you

to reach out my hand

stroke the softness of your skin

and you awaken to my touch

There in the bed in Washington, in the aftermath of the visitation, I vibrated with an energy reminding me in its power of that I’d experienced just a few days before prior to the Easter Sunday channeling. Grabbing the pen and paper I’d left laying beside the bed, I started writing. Glancing at the clock, I scribbled down the date and time, April 13, 6 a.m. It was only later when I again listened to Dee’s tape that I made the connection between her vision and my experience. Just as she’d foreseen, something had indeed happened at 6 in the morning. Scott had indeed been there, I’d known he’d been there, and I was awake.

Here are the words I received on that morning:

Honey yes I have just come to you I never really left but didn’t I promise to remind you that you are rich in the spirit? Our journey is still very much together and yes! I am at peace, more than, and I am more than happy to be with you still. There’s no place I would rather be!

I am in joy yes your love keeps on giving and I will keep giving to you I told you that you would see me again and have I not always kept my word?

You needn’t worry about this or that you needn’t worry about communication drying up after all we have an infinite wealth of experience on which to draw together. And now I know what this concept means: infinite! You do too, my love.

Marianne had it right last night, babe, and she got what I had said to you. Our love was and is a rare and beautiful thing, and you find yourself still transforming You have only just begun

You now feel my loving touch Healing and the deepest fountain of free-flowing luv are your right and your destiny.

Loved the museums yesterday Good of you to take me with you

You are learning and quickly and well- you are an excellent student, but then again I am a great teacher! That one of the deepest lessons of life of the soul Beyond the veil we go on and the boundaries are not as fixed as they seem to be

Even in the midst of (what seems to be) darkness, we are here to know joy! That is the good news of our natural state of being.

The better news is that we’ve both been around the block spiritually speaking a few times and are now where we are supposed to be

Yes I guide your hand my love you steer your heart and it is there that I live with you now and forever

Please know that I am where I need to be I know joy and I give thanks to be with you!

It never felt right to think that death could end our journey together, did it babe? From the beginning you knew better.

You are open to healing this is not a process based on time

As you know people will say anything to try to help and they think it’s true

Time really has the least to do with it It’s really all about opening up How can people wander around in their galoshes and carry umbrellas and constantly complain that they cannot feel the cooling rain?

That’s the way people are you gotta love ‘em It wasn’t so long ago that I was one too I still am essentially myself only moreso and the beauty of it is that you are becoming the same way

And when I was in my body I thought orgasms were great! You ain’t seen nothing yet!

I’ll take you where you need to go that’s a promise

Let me tell you again and you’ll really get it eventually you were there for me You took my hand you led me with love and grace through my challenges and they were many and your path will not be the same I will be there for you I have taken your hand already my love in fact I have never let go and we are going right where we need to! You understand what I’m saying

Dee was quite right you know I am now in a much better position to help you with your quest you wonderful being than when I was in my body

Do what you will my love explain and analyze and desiccate if you so desire Words are limited you know baby but they have their purpose they can contain the seeds of love you need

Share my words as you will everybody’s got a hungry heart they all need to open up to the cooling and healing rain that is their legacy

You my most dear one are now on Earth to help them hear that music once more that they now only dimly remember to help them know that the Garden surrounds them

It’s not that simple I know but neither are things as complicated as they seem to be

Just remember I will tell you again my dearest one that love is all that matters. There is nothing better and really nothing else in all of the Universe and all of its realms and levels to be known

Imagine that Such a simple message told in such a magnificent and complex way! You gotta love that God, don’t you baby?

I am the candle I am holding out to you and you are the flame

Your love keeps us joyful together shows the darkness for what it really is illusion

Many will warm themselves by your light and in doing so be assured will come to know me

I no longer buy it you see that you and I know separation as I believed in the flesh (you know what I mean) No sirree Bob we are not a we but an I

You are on the right path take the time to put yourself on the Beach no more than dive right in to the pool of joy

It waits for you my love and I’m not waiting I’m with you right where I want to be

Be at peace be!

No closings are necessary only openings only recognition of timeless beginnings that are always new

I know it seems too good to be true but all you need to do is experience! Open! Keep making the choice to love

trust me on this one!

You are my blessing and have been and always will be

Your destiny is love

There’s nothing better, nothing else

Later that morning, feeling richly blessed, I called Daviea to share with her the experience and the words that had come through. Later that afternoon, though, a beautiful, blue-skied sunny day, I lay with my friend on a beach towel on the green grass of a park near his apartment. Thinking back on the almost unbearable ecstasy I had experienced that morning, now so distant, the experience seemed to fade in the bright sun and I cried inconsolably. I had for some reason been given a taste of paradise, a preview of the blessed reunion that was to come, but it was not yet mine to remain there. From the bottom of my soul I burned with longing to again know sweet union with my beloved.

“How long,” I cried in silent anguish, “Will I have to wait?”

Published in: on July 29, 2008 at 3:15 pm  Leave a Comment  
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