A Thursday Night Channeling


A few weeks later, on one quiet Thursday evening in September, I strongly felt Scott’s presence. I lit a candle and sat at the computer, praying that I might be open to receiving any message he might have to share. The following words came through, the sole entry in my journal for that day:


I touch you you open to me I am there no not there but within you are even now in the process of opening, all you need do is allow there is nothing for you to do understand, I know this is a challenge for you, love is not something that you earn or need to prove up you are love. I am with you. You have many questions, yes there is a lot going on, but it is all the unfolding of one plan. You will learn bit by bit that this is not a process of doing, this is a process of becoming, becoming who and what you already are. You need not fear baby, I know you fear that I am gone, but I will be here for you always, this is the lesson you will learn: that you are worthy of love beyond the beyond of anything you can now understand. Don’t worry baby I remember how it was. Sometimes it feels like you are taking a step into the unknown and indeed you are but you will learn to trust.

I am with you. Keep up with your art you must you really don’t have a choice but you will find this process to be a metaphor for your experience. This time around, much has been made of achievement and earning the basic lesson to be undone is that love is something to be earned, and thus capable of being withheld, granted or not depending on what you do or do not do. It’s really so much more powerful than that. The truth is that love is a state of being in which you remain at your core no matter what storms pass on the surface. Do not be afraid my love of anything there is much you will do but you must understand that you do not need to be perfect in fact that would be boring if that were even possible. It is through the experience that you will learn. Be wary of the ego it is what keeps you from experiencing bliss. It is what makes you feel like you need to prove yourself. It is so exhausting baby.

I wish I could take it from you the pain of life but you need to undergo the experience and you will be glad. I am so excited about the projects that we are working on together. The sky will be the limit you are burning so bright and my love is always with you.

Things are going fine you just need to keep aware, to listen to yourself, and you’ll be fine. You do push and push but then God bless you with everything you do you touch lives you are ministering to the planet. Above all do not be afraid of growth and change because that is your destiny and it is all part of the plan. Here is what I tell you: embrace change, be as open as you can, because I assure you that God’s plan for you contains virtually no limits. You may impose whatever limits you wish, according to your needs at the time. When you no longer need them, they will fade away, having served their purpose. The key for you again is to trust, to not let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.

I want to tell you that in your dreams I am with you and that’s the way it is and I never really leave you but we are still learning about communication here. I am with you, and I know a lot about what is going on in your life, but I cannot understand everything. I know what I need to know. You are now in a world of detail and I am not. But I am tuned in to you at the level that really counts, where the action really is, and that is the workshop of your soul, its growing towards the light, and that was the point of our journey together. That journey continues.

In your dreams you feel that I have not been there the way you visualize. This is a metaphor for understanding control, you need to stop trying to control, trying to force, because if you think about it this is reinforcing your lack of trust. Remaining open will lead to the continued growth on this path, and that is where you are headed. You have made the choice to love, and there is no stopping you now.

Oh my baby my love for you is total and you never need doubt that

The way you will learn is by experience and that is ongoing full steam ahead.

Just lay back and savor me for a while. I will speak with you in your dreams

After the flow of words finally ceased, I took a brief break and then went back to read them. As always, they offered the comfort, reassurance, and compassion of the spirit perspective. The substance of his messages was always consistent, I felt, though tailored to my needs and level of experience at a given time. In each channeling I found clear answers to the questions carried deepest within me, rarely consciously asked.

Here was the deeper wisdom I needed as I walked my path, an ongoing blueprint for my spiritual journey. Here were a series of gifts of the spirit that indeed kept on giving.

Published in: on December 11, 2008 at 12:49 am  Leave a Comment  
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A Spirit Begins To Stir – part one

A Light Breaks Through

No circuits remain uncompleted where truth lies

Scott, November 1996     Channeled Writing

As I waited the next evening with some apprehension for the telephone to ring, hope, doubt and fear all circled and danced through my mind. I sensed that I was on the threshold of an important experience, but had no idea what shape it would take. When Daviea finally called we chatted a little, as I was too terrified to get to the heart of the matter. The stakes were simply too high, and “what ifs” were running through my mind. At last, Daviea said “I asked her how Scott was doing.” In the momentary pause that followed, my heart seemed to stop beating in my chest. “What did she say?,” I asked after what seemed an infinity.

“She said that he’s smiling!,” she reported, ” and that he’s doing very very well where he is. She said that a couple times, ‘he’s doing very very well.”’ Even as she spoke I began to feel unaccountably light, as if a breakthrough were being made. “She said he’s much better off now than he was in the body.” She briefly paused, then continued. “And she said that Scott told her that he was surprised that he went so quickly.” Though those last words could not have meant much to Daviea or to Dee, they immediately struck me to my core and reverberated there as true. On the deepest level of my intuition I felt that I was being handed a real communication from Scott, experiencing a genuine sharing. It suddenly dawned on me that he had chosen to communicate that specific message not only to penetrate my veil of rational skepticism, and to touch my heart that way, but also for the purpose of greater healing.

crockett-in-the-glades1

During his last days, Scott and I had become of one mind. Even as his physical challenges mounted and his body tired, and we fought battle after battle side by side, we grew in our love for one another and our souls melded. Given one last opportunity for union in this lifetime, each second became precious and an experience to be savored. The night before he died, we sat on the sofa together as usual, just talking and watching Thursday night T.V. By that time the infusion lines disappearing into the port in his chest had become part of the scenery, no longer any big deal. To us it was an ordinary evening, yet we both recognized it as sacred time.

We were easy together, having spent enough time together of sufficient quality to make words unnecessary for communication. I knew that Scott had made plans for the next day as the ones before, to simply survive. I knew that his death had taken him by surprise, and on some level that was part of my shock at his parting. Thus, in hearing Scott’s message third-hand, I intuitively felt that this was true, that Scott had effectively answered my prayers and made contact. My heart flooded with joy, flush with the dawning realization that Scott’s beautiful consciousness, his soul, had not died along with his battered body. The implications were staggering.

On a deeper level, Scott’s brief communication offered a message of healing in another important way. During the years we made our way through life together, we had faced everything as a team. All of life’s joys were made sweeter in the sharing, and the inevitable slings and arrows softened by the shield of our love. But yet there I had been on the morning of Scott’s passing, left unable to share this most momentous of experiences with him. I had seen him all the way through, bearing witness to the crowning “experience of a lifetime,” but now felt keenly the depths of my isolation. More than ever before I longed to be with him in this experience, to talk it through with him, to somehow help soften its impact in the sharing. But death had slammed the door shut on me, and hard, leaving me unable to do so.

Not until I heard Daviea speak those words did I realize how deeply frustrated and out-of-balance I had been left by my experience of Scott’s death. Even if I couldn’t have him back, I’d burned with longing to find at least a measure of closure with the event of his passing. In hearing Dee’s simple words through Daviea, I began to feel that an important circuit had been completed. More than ever before, I felt ready to start letting go of the bottomless pain I carried within like a heavy stone.

Feeling lighter than air, full with the dawning realization that my journey with Scott was not over, I literally laughed and jumped for joy after telling Daviea that I loved her and hanging up the phone. In spirit, Scott smiled.

A Window Opens

A few days later, I ran into a friend during a lunchtime workout at the gym. I had found that trying to return to my prior exercise routine, jogging one day and working out the next, helped to lift my sadness more effectively than any prescription medicine. My friend, who had not seen me since the memorial gathering, asked with sincerity and warmth how I was doing. It had been a tough journey, I told him, about as dark as I could stand, but I felt that maybe I might be just beginning to heal. I was proud of the small steps I had been able to take. I was proud, and somewhat surprised, to find myself surviving, to find myself still here. And even, at times, starting to tentatively embrace life if I wasn’t paying attention.

And I shared with my friend my fledgling awareness of a spiritual connection to Scott, my dawning feeling that maybe part of his consciousness had remained with me though his body had not. “I’m not exactly sure what’s going on,” I told him, “but something is definitely happening here. I’ve been writing him every day in my journal, and it’s like my sacred time. I still feel like I need to communicate with him; death hasn’t changed that.” Looking into my friend’s eyes, deciding I could trust him, I said “But that’s only part of the story. The weird thing is not that I’m writing him, but that I get the strong sense he’s listening. And sometimes, I swear, I’ve felt like he’s really been there with me.”

My friend listened spellbound, not sure exactly what to think or how to respond. “In fact,” I continued, I’m not sure why, “I feel like he’s here right now.” Feeling a chill pass through me, in pure desire, I said “Come to me, baby!” Standing with my back to the wall of large metal windows behind me, I saw my friend’s mouth suddenly drop open. Turning around, I saw one of the large, vertical windows lining the wall of the upstairs gym standing open. “That window,” he said slowly, “just unlatched itself and flew open.”

At the time I just smiled, not making much of the incident. No big deal, I figured, it must have been the wind. The timing was just a coincidence. But when I walked over to the wall a few minutes later, all of the other windows were latched shut. They were all several feet tall, framed in metal and quite heavy. And the day was still.

To Chapter 9

Published in: on July 18, 2008 at 2:41 pm  Leave a Comment  
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